Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I want to have your abortion
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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