Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
false alarm, still single
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