im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
