cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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