omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
This can only be settled by a dance off.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
