I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
