I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize