Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
