i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
