Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Randomize
