Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I think my moral compass just broke
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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