She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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