why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
