So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
