mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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