Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
