remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
