We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
