had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
