There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
