i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The best revenge is premature balding
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is Oprah even human
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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