i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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