Kiss
Puke
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize