another moral hangover. fuck.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
