We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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