it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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