You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
