O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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