im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
