People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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