Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think a kid would responsible me up
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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