I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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