just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize