What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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