how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
