i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
