I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
