I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
