How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
