direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
