so explain again why im purple
no
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
