god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
