i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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