This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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