i already hear my dad disowning me
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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