So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
