the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
