Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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