i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
