I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I can tuck mytits in my pants
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize