The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
