One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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