I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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