Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
