listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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