there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
