plz talk dirty to me
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
