Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
