i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
