Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
