Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
