Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
